Is Love the Answer?

Love. The word has been mouthed into oblivion. At some point in the past, it probably meant something. But now, it has been reduced to little more than a hollow cliché.

Things get even worse when you consider the fact that guys who look like Dana White’s disowned brother are posting things like this on the internet:

“Whatever the question, love is the answer.” What does that even mean? If the question is 2 + 2, is the answer still love?

I can already hear the starry-eyed romantics scratching and shrieking at their screens. “You’re not supposed to take it literally!” I can hear them yelling. “It’s a metaphor! It means that when people encounter struggles in life, love will get them through it!”

Is that really true thought? When a guy loses his house after a divorce, is it love that gets him through it? Or is it the fact that the only thing worse for his son than a homeless Dad is a dead Dad?

Look, I have nothing against love. What I do have a problem with, however, is people saying vaguely philosophical statements like “love will save the world.” I mean, are you really so sure about that? Is the world going to be on the brink of complete destruction, and then some guy is going to give a girl a rose, quote a shitty poem he remembers from English class, and then say “I love you”? And then the world will suddenly be saved? I understand that people are saying these things as metaphors. But if you’re going to use a metaphor, use one that makes sense.

I already know what the starry-eyed romantics are going to say next. “You’re just saying that because you’ve never been touched by a woman,” they’re going to say. “If you had experienced true love, you would agree with us.”

First of all, I want to go on record and say that I have been touched by a woman (my mother). Secondly, have you ever been touched by a woman? Seriously, have you? Does your romantic poetry get you more pussy than you can handle? Or does it just get you 7th place at the local poetry slam?

You don’t actually have to answer the question. Because I already know the answer. The answer is love. Because the answer to ever question is love, right? Isn’t that your argument?

I know I may be coming across a little ranty here. And I know that many of you are asking the inevitable question: “Why does he care so much about this stuff? Did someone hurt him?”

My answer? Love. Because whatever the question, love is the answer.

Oh, what’s that? I’m not supposed to take it literally? Oh, ok. And am I also not supposed to take it literally that you were touched by a woman? Were you “touched by her spirit” or some bullshit?

In all seriousness, love is a great thing. It builds deep connections between human beings, and that’s awesome. So why can’t we just say “love is awesome?” Why do we have to say some weird metaphor? Why do we have to exaggerate things so far? Why do we have to say “love cures all sickness?”

Are you saying that the parents of children who died from cancer never really loved them? Because if they had loved them, the children would have been cured of all sickness, right?

Poetry can be good. Even love poetry can be good. But most of it is so cringy that it’s unspeakable. Case in point:

In conclusion: love is awesome, so stop tarnishing its name with your weird poetic metaphors.