Stars Built the Pyramids

A lot of people are scared of ghosts, but you know what’s scarier than a ghost? A star. Seriously. Those things are crazy. We just don’t think about them because of how far away they are.

Think about it. A ghost might spook you a bit, but a star will incinerate your every last hope and dream in a microsecond. No final goodbyes. No grand finale. Just *blip*, and you’re gone forever.

Even from millions and millions of miles away, through the protection of a thick atmospheric shield, you can still literally go blind in minutes just by looking at one of these things.

And we just shrug that off.

When you think about it, stars are crazy, man. They might even be alive. I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me. Life on Earth is Carbon-based, because Carbon can bond with a lot of atoms at once. But who’s to say that there aren’t other forms of life out there, ones that aren’t Carbon-based?

You might think that stars aren’t life forms because they just sit around, while real life forms move around and do stuff. Stars do move around though, some at two million miles per hour. And who’s to say that they aren’t doing stuff? Maybe they’re talking to each other. Human beings can talk to each other on opposite sides of the planet through a tiny device, and the message travels almost instantly. Who’s to say that stars can’t communicate somehow?

Stars might even be conscious. We don’t really know why human beings are conscious, but we know that it has something to do with complex electrical activity in our brains. And you know where else there’s a lot of complex electrical activity? In stars.

So maybe stars are conscious too, but just at a different timescale. Think about a fly. It only lives for a couple weeks. And because all of its hopes and dreams have to be compressed down into just a few weeks, it experiences life at a different pace than we do. Maybe that’s why flies have such fast reflexes, and why they’re so difficult to catch: because they’re living at a faster pace.

Now think about a star. Stars live for 10 billion years. So if they’re alive, they’re living at an insanely slow pace. That means that maybe all the stars in the sky are actually on their way to work, dozing off, or having lunch. But they’re just doing it so slowly that we can’t see it. It’s all entirely possible. I would even go so far as to say that they might have built the pyramids.

And here’s where things get really crazy. Have you ever had a dream so realistic that you thought it was real? Maybe we’re all just stars having a really realistic dream about what it would be like to be a human. I even heard about this drug called salvia. I don’t know if this is true, but I heard that salvia can make people live an entire alternative life in their imagination, in just a few hours, with a job, friends, family, taxes, vacations, haircuts, and everything else. Maybe we’re all just stars having a salvia trip.

So the next time you look out at the night sky, remember: one of those stars might be you.